So some of you may or may not know about the greatest Olympic event ever. It's called the Pentathlon and it's the pinnacle of human performance. Now, NBC is not willing to show it on primetime because other events like swimming and track are bigger crowd draws. But the Pentathlon is better because it's both! And MORE!
Here's the deal. The ancient Pentathlon involved wrestling, discus throwing, swimming, running, and I think conquering a barbarian people. The modern Pentathlon, starting in 1912, was supposed to simulate a soldier stuck behind enemy lines. So you must in theory complete these five events to escape the Enemy.
--Epee Fencing
--Pistol Shooting
--Swimming
--Running
--Riding an Unfamiliar Horse
Hooked, yet?! How could you not be? Shooting and Horse Riding? Fencing plus Swimming? It makes every other event look silly. What's that? You only pole vault? Wuss! What did you say? You only play Basketball? Underachiever!
I vote for a combination of all sports. This is the Olympics I envision. 200 M Breast Stroke/Bowling. Gymnastics/Tug-of-War/Cooking. We're going way too easy on these athletes.
