Jon & Friends

2011-01-17T08:47:00.001-08:00

February? Seriously?

2010-04-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

February was the last post? That's outrageous.

Okay. There's a new project on the horizon for James and Valerie (me).

Here's a preview.

It's an EP, not ET

2010-02-22T08:19:00.000-08:00

Have you heard?

Jon has an eponymous EP availbe for purchase on iTunes. I'm not going to strong arm you here, but, it's great, and if you want to do yourself a favor, pick it up.

Physical copies (an album you can hold in your hot little hand) will be available next week(ish). If you're not already, follow Jon on Twitter for more up-to-the-minute updates.

Our very own James Best co-wrote a song on this album, and it's just lovely.

Buy the album, write a review, and be a part of this BIG-TIME-FUN.

Also, if you haven't checked it out already, there's a new episode of American Nobody up, and, to make up for the long absence, it's a doozy.

On Monday, with no Tonight Show

2010-01-25T11:47:00.000-08:00

So, we've all been pretty rattled by Conan's abrupt departure from the Tonight Show.

I adore Michael Ian Black, but I don't know if it would ever occur to me to refer to him as society's reality touchstone.

However, his well reasoned argument about the relative absurdity of the public outcry over Conan's fate is worth a read.

When Did Conan O'Brien become Norma Rae?

See with your Eyes

2009-12-11T10:12:00.001-08:00

I don't know anything about music. In my line, you don't have to.
-Elvis Presley

*photos by Colleen Johnson

Out of the Archives - JPL

2009-12-02T06:08:00.001-08:00

It's Christmas after all. Well, almost. Enjoy the video.

Thanksgiving Episode

2009-11-30T08:16:00.000-08:00

American Nobody.

Check it out.

I answer hard questions.
Sky gives 10 Things.
Jon sings.

It's a Thanksgiving Miracle.

New Moon is Wall to Wall Awesome

2009-11-25T11:09:00.000-08:00

I watched my fair share of interviews with the gang from New Moon, and, I'm here to tell you, that is one uncharming cast.

I suppose there are cast members more tolerable than others, but, on the whole, blech.

And then, I found this interview with director Chris Weitz. Thank you Entertainment Weekly.

He's smart and savvy, gives credit where it's due (the cinematographer, Javier Aguirresarobe), speaks candidly about the disaster his last film was (The Golden Compass), and is refreshingly self-deprecating (he makes it clear that he is not Princess Diana).

Check it out.

US magazine quoted me about Adam Lambert

2009-11-24T20:02:00.000-08:00

First here's the link: http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/idol-finalist-calls-adam-lambert-a-sham-20092411.

Second, here's the full quote I sent them. "He said girls have been pushing the envelope for decades and he was compared to Brittany Spears and Madonna. I don't think taking cues from them is ever a good idea--unless, of course, you want to have the paparzzi up your ass for the next little while. And, it's not a bad idea if you want to sell CDs. All this nonsense about Adam Lambert's whole project being art is bogus, though. That idea is absurd. It's like calling Thomas Kinkade art. What a sham."

Let me be clear, I don't dislike the guy. I don't care that he's gay. I simply don't like his music.

James Speaks on Twilight

2009-11-24T07:33:00.001-08:00

James declares his allegiance.

Well, since we're on the subject of this Valerie loves...

2009-11-23T16:55:00.001-08:00

Emoticons and Pepsi. What a perfect combo. Possible slogan: give into it.

New Moony

2009-11-23T11:49:00.000-08:00

Hey Gang.

I'm just back from North Carolina where I traveled to watch a movie.

Yeah.

You heard me right.

New Moon is a hit.

Jon can eat my shorts if he says otherwise.

You got that, Lewis?

James wants some answers about who I've become,

so I'm going to answer all of his questions in a tell-all interview.

Keep a weather eye out for that.

p.s. the photo above is awesome because this scene ISN'T even in the movie. amazing.

Good Crimeny, That's a Good List

2009-11-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

I'm a sucker for lists.
All kinds.
And I happened across a book list (my favorite kind) that's just a step above.

It's a solid list, but the pictures, my word, the pictures.
Even alone, they're worth seeing.

100 Must Read Books: The Essential Man's Library

An Overlooked Tradition

2009-11-10T05:38:00.000-08:00

For all of you who like Thanksgiving but always have to spend it with your attention starved families who need you to be with them and eat their food, there's a solution.

I introduce to you: Fakesgiving

HISTORICAL FACTS FROM A REAL BOOK
Fakesgiving is a tradition started by the Native Americans and Pilgrims who didn't get invited to the original Thanksgiving. They set up all their tables about a hundred yards from the jerks and had a way better time. And the Thanksgiving crowd knew it because the Fakesgiving crowd was a lot louder about all of their fun. The real gas of the night was when the Iroquois hunter Compound Bow gave John Smith a really loud raspberry during his list of thank yous. After they recovered (one old guy actually died from laughing, which caused even more guffaws) the Fakesgivers went through a round of Fake Things to Be Fake Thankful For.

Here's how to host your own.

1. Get friends.
2. Have those friends bring a dish to eat.
3. Dish can either be traditional or non-traditional Thanksgiving food.
4. Eat that hodgepodge mess.
5. Have the table go around and tell what they're fake thankful for. Sarcasm and irony is encouraged.
6. Instead of a post meal nap, a lively game is in order. Charades, Apples to Apples, Celebrity, etc.
7. People take their stuff home and don't stuff other people's fridges.
8. Watch the Matrix like the original Fakesgivingers did.

Good. Now you're on your way to a Sappy Fakesgiving. Don't dawdle. Get some friends.

In Short Order

2009-11-09T09:43:00.001-08:00

1. Happy Birthday to John last week.

If you haven't seen it, Judy put up a tribute video on the American Nobody site.

2. Who's excited for the Olympics in February? Me too.

3. Who's excited for American Idol in January? Me too.

4. I'm kind of obsessed with this site. First, I was amazed it was a whole Facebook group, and then, I couldn't stop looking.

2009-11-02T11:01:00.001-08:00

The vitality of thought is in adventure. Ideas won't keep. Something must be done about them.
-Alfred North Whitehead

*photo by Stuart Johnson

Best Costume Award This Year

2009-10-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

Thoroughly Spooked

2009-10-28T13:33:00.000-07:00

And it's not even Halloween yet.

But, the mustache is gone now...I think...
it has to be...Jon, tell me it's gone...

photo by Seth Green

Oh, this? It's a Mr. T bookmark

2009-10-26T05:46:00.001-07:00

I have this friend, Rachel McNunchucks, who is kind of a felt genius.
Obviously.

Obviously.

Oh, that? It's my Chocolate Emmy

2009-10-23T08:47:00.001-07:00

Hey Gang.

James and I were involved with a film project,
and we've been dying to share it with you.

The screening of the film was last night,
so now we're free to link people to the you-tube location.

This film was made in 24 hours, for the Brooklyn 24 hour Film Race.

James was a writer on the project,
and didn't sleep for about 72 hours straight.

As you can imagine, it was pretty fun.
We filmed in an abandoned catholic school in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.
There was a supremely creepy basement,
which James and the other writers thought
was a good idea to explore in the dead of night.

As it turns out, it was not a good idea.

The people we worked with were so talented and fun,
and such professionals.
Hopefully,
we'll be seeing more work from this gang of hooligans.

Here it is.
(watch in HD if possible,
just click the icon right away)

picture via here

Will You go Slightly Out of Your way to Step on that Cruncy Looking Leaf?

2009-10-22T07:19:00.001-07:00

Bad news, autumn lovers.

Fall Canceled After 3 Billion Seasons.

Updates

2009-10-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

*The new JV Debate Club is pulled for this episode.
Don't weep, public, we'll be back soon.

*Jon is gearing up for a mini-tour near the end of this year and the beginning of next.
Stay tuned for further updates.

*The new episode of American Nobody is in the works.
Jon is, I believe, working feverishly, even as I type this.

*I feel only so-so about Golden Oreos.
Why did I even buy them when there are double-stuff oreos in the world?

*Jon just discovered that his jacket has a lining that is meant to be a 2nd jacket.
He assures me this will revolutionize his fall wardrobe.

photo via here

2009-10-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

Per Jon's last tweet (right), about me and James putting on weight,
I just want to make it clear that I, for one,
have merely increased the amount of clothes worn.

New York has gotten very, very cold.
Very, very suddenly.

I, personally have increased my layers (clothing, not fat)
by double, and have pulled out my parka for wear
(otherwise known as my sleeping bag coat).

In other news, there's a new episode of American Nobody on the way.

And James and I took part in the Brooklyn 24 Hour Film Festival.

All my NYC pals, come see us.
Thursday, Oct 22nd, 8:30-10:15 pm
Tickets here.

For all the not-NYC pals, we'll post a link to it as soon it's online.

Out of the Archives

2009-10-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

Catching up with Idol pal Chris Sligh

Rehearsing backstage with guitar player Andrew Synowiec

Columbus Days of Yore

2009-10-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

Oh, Columbus, Columbus.

I have a pal, Allen
(sometimes featured laughing in the background of the American Nobody opening,
or reflected in Jon's sunglasses),
who refuses to celebrate Columbus Day,
because he thinks
Columbus was a tool.

I see his point, but, seriously, it's a holiday.
Who cares?

I spent my day with my sister, riding bikes all over Brooklyn.
We rode the Brooklyn Bridge
(over, and then back).
I had forgotten how steep the first,
oh,
I don't know,
third of that bridge is.
It's a doozy.

I hope you all took advantage of Jon's Columbus Day give-a-way.
If not, there still might be time.
Hurry over.

A New Excitement

2009-10-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

There is a new episode of American Nobody up.

Crappy Pictures
JV Debate
Sky and his Listening Pleasure
Jon in a snug black shirt

There is something for everyone.

Check it out, and leave a comment while you are there.

Best new show of the season?

2009-10-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

Maybe.

We'll see.

Try it out.

Community (via Hulu).

Jon Finds a Keyboard

2009-10-05T20:26:00.001-07:00

My Favorite Movie of the Summer

2009-09-29T14:53:00.001-07:00

Moon.

I think this movie is great. In fact, the funny thing about this movie is that I can't tell you anything. It would be a disservice. Not because the whole movie is some big huge mystery (there is a mystery though) but because I want you to experience everything without it being spoiled.

If you've ever seen the esteemed Sam Rockwell in anything, then you know: that dude is good. There's some actors that just sort of captivate, just make you look at them. Cary Grant was that way. George Clooney is like that. So is Sam Rockwell.

It was only a limited release so no hopes on seeing it theater. But I hope it will be released soon. In fact, I love the poster. I want to hang it in my room like I'm twelve.

For me, from Me

2009-09-28T08:58:00.001-07:00

I didn't do my own interview, if that's what you're thinking. Judy did the interview. She wanted to know who Valerie really is. So, here it is, from Judy (really).
************

I thought it was time to turn the tables on Valerie and put her on the spot for an interview...

Judy: Good morning Valerie. I"m going to turn the tables on you now.

Valerie: Okay.

Me: First, tell me something about Jon that most people wouldn't know. You've known him for a long time.

Valerie: He and I went on a few dates in college. I think I may have broken his heart.

Judy: Ah, broken hearts. It brings out the poet in all of us. Do you write poems?

Valerie: No. I do not. I read. I am an appreciator only.

Judy: What books would you recommend to our audience right now?

Valerie: I'm reading Run, by Ann Patchett right now. It's phenomenal. Her other book, Bel Canto, will change your life. I also just finished Slaughterhouse 5, which is so dark and still so funny.

Judy: I'll have to find Bel Canto. Anything life changing is worth searching for.

Valerie: Judy, it's amazing.

Judy: What are 3 things you could never live without that would fit in a backpack?

Valerie: Burt's Bees chapstick, my Nalgene, and a stuffed duck i sleep with, Ducky (he's pretty big, but I could make him fit in a backpack).

Judy: What is your favorite food?

Valerie: Candy.

Judy: Ahh, you have a sweet tooth. Would you rather have a gift of flowers, chocolates, or a wind-up toy?

Valerie: Well, I do like flowers, but, generally candy always wins. And a box of chocolates, from See's, maybe? Forget about it.

Me: What specific Sees chocolate is your favorite.

Valerie: Oh, Judy, that's like asking if I prefer the hydrogen or the oxygen in water. I could never choose

Judy: Funny. What country would you least like to visit?

Valerie: Um...that's a hard question. While I'd like to visit it someday, Brazil is pretty far down on the list. Well, except there's a river there call the River of Doubt, and I'd go just to see that. I don't know. That's impossible to answer.

Judy: I'll bet James would like to go to Brazil. There are a lot of topless beaches there, right?

Valerie: Well, James loves to be topless. That's for sure.

Judy: Who is the better debater off camera?

Valerie: Me, but only because I fight dirty.

Judy: And, to get back to the music, because after all, isn't it always about the music ... what is the next song you'll be listening to?

Valerie: There is a Mountain, by Donovan. Awesome. Throw your Arms Around Me, by Hunters and Collectors, which I just found out is quite an old song (1985). Totally amazing. And Click, Click, Click, Click, by Bishop Allen.

Judy: Good choices for our viewers who are always looking for new music.

Valerie: Of course. I just made a new running play list, but I can't remember what's on it. I'm not so good with song/artist names.

Judy: Why are boys so good with trivia? I have some theories, what are yours?

Valerie: I've never really thought about it. Maybe because they're just naturally smarter than girls. (A joke.)

Judy: Oh, and a very funny one indeed.

Valerie: Thanks.

Judy: Do you like the way Obama dresses?

Valerie: Yeah. Very presidential.

Judy: Awesome.

Thanks Valerie. We love the blogs and I always look forward to them.

Out of the Archives

2009-09-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

Watch never before seen and newly posted footage of Jon here on the blog. Come back often to check out clips that have been buried in the basement.

Here's one that might be new to you... JPL's interview and performance with multi-Grammy nominee Dave Koz.

The wind's a'blowin', so pull the cord tight

2009-09-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of Fall,
and it's time to pull out the fall clothes.

Some ideas:

From Jon:

This one

He says, "I've always liked the Pull and Bear hoodies. Last time I was in the store, I got one in each color."

From James:

This one

He says, "I like this sweatshirt because I like the idea of a triangle being murdered."

For me:

This one

I say, "This is for Emily, who thinks I'm just teasing."

Gang, enjoy this first day of fall,
whether you're wearing a hoodie,
a sweater,
or a bathing suit.

Hiatus

2009-09-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

Friends.

The American Nobody show is on Hiatus this week. A perfect storm has blown in, and we are using this week to prep for a powerhouse of bitchin' episodes for you.

Don't despair, pals. We'll keep this blog updated with videos and other useless, er useful content, and if you miss us, just watch your favorite past episodes here.

And, if all else fails, chat with Jon via Twitter. He's dying to hear from you.

And Who Wants to Know?

2009-09-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

That title is supposed to sound kinda threatening. Does it?

So, Jon gets questions, as well as comments, on the American Nobody site (which are great, keep 'em coming), and I thought we'd spend some time addressing them.

***********************************

From Tony (aka Johnny Casino):
Just saw Sky in a commercial on CBS.com - I couldn't believe it! Is it a twin or is it really him? He looked very authoritative in the commercial.

Answer: That, sir, is our own Sky. They're great, and there are a few. Look here, and then find more.

From Kat:
So who is the dude that can kind of be seen in your Aviators and makes all the side comments in the last couple of episodes?Wuthering Heights and Twilight??? Did James do something to make you mad Val? LoL

Answer: (in order) That dude is Allen TenBusschen, Jon's pal and former roommate, and now your pal too. And yeah, Kat, Wuthering Heights and Twilight. I stand by it. And yes, everything James does makes me mad. Everything.

From *:
anyone know the name of the hidden track after amanda grace on stories from hollywood?

Answer: The hidden track is titled "The Ukulele Song." Jon wrote it after buying a ukulele in Hawaii.

From Tracy:
okay then - It's been a while since I've been here. I see I've missed a lot. Is Sky for real? lol. I love crappy pictures. JPL, I remember when you drew a picture for Simon on Idol. You're a good artist.

Answer: Tracy, it has been my experience that Sky is almost always for real.

From Susan:
Pretty great stuff!!Hope you get some good paying gigs like leno or another writers job so you can keep it up.Where did Sky come from??School?Neighbor?

Answer: Sky and Jon were introduced by a mutual friend, Stuart Johnson. He is a songwriter and was Jon's drummer when Jon came off Idol.

*****************************************

Everyone, thanks so much for all the comments and questions. I can't count the number of times Jon has been working to finish an episode, and I ask him if it's good, and he kind of pauses, and then says, 'I really don't know. I'm too inside it.' It's always great to hear feedback.

Travel Log Back in New York

2009-09-21T06:37:00.001-07:00

Thanks everyone for traveling with me.
I'm back in New York, where Fall is a reality.

So, back to business.

California Day 7 - Travel Log

2009-09-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

Washed two cars in the bright sunlight
(for a car-less Brooklynite, this was a novelty)

Swam

Dedicated real, but wasted, time to fixing my tan.
I am destined to have the sporty tan lines from the
TYR suit I wear when I swim laps
(I know, cry me a river)

Ate a churro

Drove to Irvine to see Bright Star.
A word of advice: SEE BRIGHT STAR

It is currently in limited release, so seek it out
It was...ineffable
I can't wait to see it again

Drank more coke,
took Harry the dog for a walk,
and drove around
(in the freshly washed car)
in the warm September night

California Day 6 - Travel Log

2009-09-18T23:58:00.001-07:00

Finished out the Valerie Appel Historical Run
by running by my high school,
Chino High, home of the Cowboys.

Saw some high school pals.

Checked Facebook, despite my best intentions.

Went to a very sweet wedding.

Ordered my first In-n-Out of this trip.
I kissed my cheeseburger.
Then I ate it.

Then I ate two oreos.

The only bummer about the day was missing
the teddy bear picnic with my mom's kindergarten class.
I'm still kicking myself.

California Day 5 - Travel Log

2009-09-18T00:12:00.000-07:00

Did a Valerie Appel historical run around my hometown.
(the self guided tour lasted longer than I intended,
and I crashed at 6:00 p.m.)

Swam in the California sunshine

Shopped (mostly for candy)

Watched Just Friends on TBS.
A Warning:
This movie, Just Friends, should be AVOIDED at all costs.
It was one of those movies where I kept asking myself,
"why, oh why, am I still watching this?"
It was AWFUL, but yeah, I watched the whole thing.

***

If you haven't checked it out,
watch the new episode of American Nobody

And yeah, to answer your questions,
I'm currently wearing that t-shirt from the episode.

Arizona, Day 2 / California, Day 4

2009-09-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

Woke to the sound of a nephew screaming bloody murder
(thanks again for that, McKay).

Considered stealing a niece and taking her back to New York with me
(I've got my eye on you, Sadie).

Ate a banana.

Walked into a time machine disguised as a diner in Desert Center, California.
Never heard of it?
No surprise there.

Didn't run.

Listened to KROQ with the windows down as I drove in the California twilight.
Bliss.

***

Speaking of Twilight,
head over to American Nobody and watch the new episode,
because guess what?

It's UP.

Travel Log

2009-09-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

Arizona Day 2:

Hiked to the Wind Caves.

Saw a rattlesnake.

Got spooked.

Off to the waterslides.

*****

Don't forget to check out the new episode of American Nobody.

Keep checking the site,

and join up on Twitter, to let Jon know you care.

Gone Fishin'

2009-09-14T20:10:00.000-07:00

Hey gang.

I'm away on vacation this week.
I'm evening out my tan in Southern California
and the saguaro cactus of Arizona are wrapping their arms around me,
and I'm away from a computer.

Check out the new episode of
American Nobody
this Tuesday...it's a winner...I think.

I'll check in soon.
Stay cool.
I know I will. I'm about to eat frozen yogurt with my little sister.
Does vacation get any better?

Did You Know?

2009-09-10T10:31:00.000-07:00

Did you know that summer's wrapping up in New York?

It's starting to feel like fall

The leaves are beginning to turn colors,
and there is a crispness to the breeze.

If you come to Brooklyn
(which you should, Brooklyn was made for fall),
give me a call, and I'll meet you for lunch and
we'll go shopping for lined paper and pens
(my favorite is the Pilot G-2)
and pencil cases.

Also, did you know Jon has a YouTube Channel?

He just posted a video of "Beautiful",
from the album Break the Silence.
You might check it out, if you have a moment.

And, come on, you have a moment.
You know you do.

It's Up, It's Up

2009-09-08T14:49:00.001-07:00

Check out the new episode of The American Nobody Show.

You won't be sorry
(if you are, er, sorry about that).

Marshmallow Detox

2009-09-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

Raise your hand if you ate too many marshmallows
Labor Day weekend.

There's a new American Nobody Show (with Jon Peter Lewis) on the way.

Are you ready for it?

It's ready for you.

Ever wonder what the American Idol audition process is like?

We're following an auditionee, Kelly, through the process.

Also, James tells you what he's listening to, and you get spooked
(those two statements are not connected...or, are they?).

Also, did you Jon has a fan email address?
Got questions? Comments? A bone to pick?
jonpeterlewis@gmail.com

p.s. If you are looking for an actual address to send your abundance of fan letters, look no further: P.O. Box 1962, Studio City, CA 91604

Oh, You Know

2009-09-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

As I'm sure you know, the new episode of American Nobody is up.

Check it out, if you please.

And if you haven't, follow Jon on Twitter.
His 500th follower will receive an album (of their choosing) from iTunes.

If you already follow, keep a weather eye on your email,
you might be the lucky guy/gal who wins another iTunes album.

In other news,
did you hear that Avril Lavigne is slotted to judge
a round of American Idol auditions?

It's a dream come true for all those
neck-tie wearing, semi-angsty, chronic eyeliner abusers out there.
I hope everyone comes in looking like her, circa 2002.

Fingers crossed.

I can't wait to see what that wacky Canadian has to say.

New Episode

2009-09-01T17:03:00.000-07:00

American Nobody with Jon Peter Lewis

There's magic, arguments, and Jon stands in front of a truck.

Sky gives you some new music and I tell you why we're all getting dumber.

Head over and watch, a leave a comment, why don't you.

And, don't forget about the Twitter give-a-way.

One lucky follower will get an album

(of their choosing, of course)

from iTunes.

(drawing Friday)

Sky Speaks

2009-08-31T13:24:00.001-07:00

I did a brief, informal interview with Sky, a frequent contributor to American Nobody and superstar in his own right, via email (truth be told, it was more facebook questionnaire than interview). Here it is.

Me: Favorite move of the summer?

Sky: My pelvic thrust

Me: Favorite moment in the American Nobody show?

Sky: Talking to the guy in china

Me: How long have you known/been working with Jon?

Sky: 4 1/2 years

Me: Do you still get the back to school feeling around this time of year?

Sky: No

Me: What music are you listening to right now?

Sky: Bikutsi dance music

Me: What is one song that is so brilliant you wish you would have written it?

Sky: Happy Birthday

Me: Describe your favorite T-shirt: the one that has the

Sky: LARGE THREAD COUNT

Thanks, Sky, for your candor.
To find out what else Sky is listening to, tune into the American Nobody show this week for his segment, "For Your Listening Pleasure".

And, stay cool out there, world.

image via here.

Big News

2009-08-31T05:35:00.000-07:00

Here it is:

Jon is giving away an iTunes album to the 500th,
and then the 1000th follower of his twitter feed.

But lest his loyal followers feel overlooked,
he will pick one, at random, to also receive an album.

The drawing will be on Friday, September 4th.

Follow Jon on Twitter and (perhaps) win an album.

Facebook Updates

2009-08-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

So I can't say the idea is original but I started thinking of fictional facebook updates from fictional characters. Some of these might be amusing to me only but I've been jotting these down all day.

Luke Skywalker can't make it to Tashi Station, guys . Uncle Ben has the brain of a Jawa.

Luke Skywalker got two new droids today!

Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan are now friends.

Luke Skywalker totally got a lightsaber today! Oh, and his Aunt and Uncle are dead.

Luke Skywalker is a fan of Jedi.

-------------------------------------

Chewbacca sent Han Solo some Spice.

Chewbacca is so sick of fixing the Falcon.

Chewbacca joined the group "Former Wookie Slaves".

-------------------------------------

Darth Vader wants to know if anyone still believes in the Force.

Darth Vader is in a relationship with The Emperor and "It's Complicated."

Darth Vader created an event "Alderaan Goes Boom!".

Perhaps

2009-08-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

Perhaps you've already noticed that the
new episode of American Nobody is up.

Check it out here.

Jon shows us his toys,
Sky on a pier dressed as a priest,
and the final installment of "Recap in Crappy Pictures",
featuring your favorite Twitter-quitter,
and mine,
Paula Abdul.

The American Nobody Show with Jon Peter Lewis

p.s. James is really hoping the phrase "twitter-quitter" catches on. Spread it like wildfire.

Maybe, Maybe Not

2009-08-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I mentioned that Jon has a Twitter feed.

Did I?

I can't remember.

Anyway, you're allowed to follow it, if you want.

Follow Jon (to the dark side).

Ha ha, that last part is a joke (...sorta).

Like Seasoned Timber

2009-08-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

Good things take time. We all know that.
Which is why we're all willing to wait just a bit longer for
the new episode of the American Nobody show (right?).

Jon assures me (via g-chat) that it will be up this afternoon,
so keep a look out for it.

Now, some other things that are only truly great after a matter of time:

*a good t-shirt, worn and washed to perfect softness
*a pair of chuck taylors, after they've ceased being perfectly white
*an education. you know that things no good for at least a few years after you get it
*a long run. they suck for first 6 miles, then, the last two, when you can't feel your legs, it's perfect.
*a baseball hat. after the new has really worn off, and after it starts to reflect the shape of your head.
*jeans. same reason as above, but switch out head and replace with rear end.
*a new city. at first, highly overwhelming. then, with time, it's home.

In a Moment

2009-08-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

If you're anything like me,

in a moment you'll navigate away from this page
and onto another blog,
or Facebook,
or Myspace
(if you happen to have a time machine to take you back to 2005, that is).

But, before you do, read this super short, amazing piece of creative non-fiction.

Brett Anthony Johnston Back in the Day (Just A Few Years Ago)

image via here

Hey Judy

2009-08-24T05:49:00.000-07:00

So, I had a chance to ask Judy Lieber, Jon's manager, a few questions.

Me: What's the best movie you've seen this summer?

Judy: I liked 500 Days of Summer as a chic flick. I just saw Adam this week. It was cool; hated The Ugly Truth.

Me: Yikes. What has been the most surprising thing about doing the American Nobody show?

Judy: That Jon is such an incredible editor. It's not completely surprising, I guess, given how talented he is on so many levels, but very impressive. Oh, and that after just 3 weeks we received such an awesome nod of approval by the LA Times Entertainment writer. That was very cool.

Me: Yeah, that is cool. I recall Jon being pretty jazzed about that. Okay, summer road trip destination?

Judy: Any road trip. Jon and I have been on so many of them, and we solve every problem on earth during them. I love driving anywhere, anytime. But, okay, the place would have to be Pacific Grove, CA. I would like to drive to Chicago one day then on to New York. I like the most obscure little towns on the way.

Me: Oh, me too. What a dream, stopping along to road, talking to people, eating at little roadside diners...

Judy: Yeah, people are real on the road. Why is that? Or do we just want them that way and so they are.

Me: I wonder. What are you listening to right now? Aside from Sky's voice over and over as you edit the next American Nobody show.

Judy: I went to Jay Brannan's concert just recently. He is very cool. He wrote a song about American Idol and i want to have him on the show. I've been playing Coldplay, yeah I know, one of the masses. Also, a music aficionado, Annie, introduced me to Mae this week and Joshua Radin.

Me: Is Annie your new music source?

Judy: She's a great source of music. She finds the greatest and most obscure songs. So between her, Jon, Sky and James I'm lucky. Lucky.. . another favorite song of mine from Ben Folds. One of my all time favorites actually. And isn't that what we all are? Lucky. Well actually, The Luckiest.

Me: Oh, I looooooooove that song.

Judy: Ask me one more, I want to phone a friend.

Me: What?

Judy: I've always wanted to say that.

Me: Okay, favorite former president?

Judy: Oh, that's easy. JFK.

Me: Nice. I like Millard Fillmore (#13).

Judy: But I do share a birthday with Clinton.

Me: Oh really? You'll have something to talk about when you meet him

Judy: Yeah, he sent me a card one year. I was friends with a cabinet member...but that's another conversation.

Me: WHAT? Judy, you are a mystery. A real riddle.

And, she is. Really. Judy, you're amazing. Happy birthday.

New Episode of American Nobody

2009-08-21T06:27:00.000-07:00

There's a brand spanking new episode of American Nobody up.

Come see what all the kids are talking about.

Noteworthy: Jon has a plethora of $2 bills at one point.
Where did he get them?
How long has it been since you've seen a $2 bill?

Also, he drives a truck and has a questionable mustache.
What's not to like?

American Nobody with Jon Peter Lewis

I read the Economist

2009-08-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

Sooooooooo, I was reading the Economist - that's right, gang, the Economist - and I read an article about how the distinction between "low" and "high" culture is blurring, nay, withering away. The examples given were a skinhead attending the ballet, and a classical music buff watching minor league boxing (is that even a thing?).

This article - in the Economist - credited this leveling of the cultural playing field to an increase in college education, how over the last ten years or so, more people than ever have graduated from college, undergrad and uppergrad, as cultural omnivores, willing to take in whatever society as to offer: pop art, reality TV, viral videos, classic movies, etcetera.

I've been thinking about the highs and lows in my life. And I'm not talking guilty pleasures. What's there to feel guilty about when you can title yourself a cultural omnivore?

Here are mine. As you read them, keep in mind, I'm not dumb, I'm a cultural omnivore.

Highs: I could spend a better part of my life on the third floor of the MoMA.
Every fall I wait in line for hours to see a dozen dance companies perform at City Center.
I recently found out you can attend dress rehearsals at the New York Philharmonic for way less than a ticket to a legit performance, and I've already purchased mine.
I've attended more poetry readings than read books of poetry, and seen the heavy hitters in person; Billy Collins, Galway Kinnell, Sharon Olds, Marie Ponsoit.

Lows: I DVR the Golden Girls to watch at my leisure.
I get really into marathons on MTV. Once on a flight from California to New York, I watched an entire season of 2-A-Days. Also, My Super Sweet 16, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders:Making the Team, and Engaged and Underage.
I don't buy People magazine, but if it's at the gym, I will pick it up.
Same with US Weekly. Though I do draw the line at Star (and they're not fooling anyone now that they've switched to the glossy page format. I can see right through that).

So, my fellows, don't be ashamed. No longer refer to your Perez Hilton addiction as a guilty pleasure. Read the Weekly World News (online) with pride. You are part of something so great, even the Economist has taken notice.

The Economist.

Music Fridays

2009-08-14T06:47:00.001-07:00

So Jon and Sky and I are always checking out tunes and Judy, Jon's manager, suggested that we share what we've been checking out. Not because we think you can't find good music but because we're egomaniacs and we think we are really, really, really cool. So we started a little segment on the show called tentatively: For Your Listening Pleasure. But I'll post up a few things I'm listening to here as well.

Here's the song I woke up with in my head this morning:

Man Man - Van Helsing Boombox

A longer song off Wolf Parade's last album:

Modest Mouse (my all time favorite band) with a video directed Heath Ledger:

Enjoy, dudes. Or don't enjoy. Because that's how music works. To each his sweet, sweet own.

Here's What's Killing Me Today

2009-08-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, a friend of mine showed me this. I can't promise this is everyone's humor but I freaking love this. Start at the first one, but I think #2 and #3 are amazing and you should watch through those at least before you judge.

We might do a little segment inspired by this. But neither Jon, Sky, Valerie or I could pull off awkward like Mitch Magee.

Episode I - Welcome to My Study

Episode II - Welcome to My Study

Episode III - Welcome to My Study

Are you an American Nobody?

2009-08-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

Well, you should be.

Check out the new episode here.

You'll be glad you did.

A little late, but still...

2009-08-11T12:32:00.000-07:00

Of course you all know that John Hughes died last week.

The outpouring of feeling about the man and his work is really noteworthy.

James, contributor to this blog and co-writer of American Nobody, wrote a blog about his feelings.

Another on e, by Ana Shaw.

And this one, so great, sent to me by a pal.

Check him out if you'll miss him too.

Paula, Paula, Paula

2009-08-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

Me and Jon: A conversation
It occurred to me that Jon, having actually known Paula Abdul personally,
might be able to provide some insight into her,
after her somewhat surprising decision to leave American Idol.

Me: I wondered what your thoughts were on the whole Paula leaving thing.

Jon: Ummmmm, I think it's sad to see her leave. She may have been terrible to the English language, but she was fun to listen to... and by far the sweetest of all the judges. I remember when we made it to the top 32 she gave all of us a little bracelet and again when we made it to the top 12... a necklace. It had an inspirational quote on it.

She may have a been a wreck at times, but she was very sincere and always looking out for the contestant.

Me: That's really nice to hear. I think it's that side of the judges that the people at large don't often see.

Jon: Totally. She was always the one who was most concerned about helping me be better... and all of the contestants. I remember during the Hollywood week she hung around long after she needed to, giving advice to those of us who stayed within earshot.

Me: Did you have interaction with her beyond the feedback she gave on air?

Jon: Not tons of interaction time, but more than the others, for sure. She made herself more available than the others.

And there you have it, folks. Straight from the horse's mouth.

He Said Tuesday, and He Meant Tuesday

2009-08-05T07:14:00.000-07:00

The new episode of American Nobod y is up and running.

2 things you should know about this episode:

1. Sky does Dude on the Street (thank goodness)
2. Jon films, for some bizarre reason,
in a laundromat,
and offers absolutely no explanation why.
Hilarious.

Take a gander and keep the comments coming.

And thanks sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for all your support.

James: Unmasked

2009-08-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

And now James Best,
co-writer of American Nobody,
the J in JV Debate Club,
spills his secrets:

Me: Are you listening?

James: Yeah.

Me: What's the best movie you've seen this summer?

James: Moon. Next to that Star Trek.

Me: Hmmm...

James: Not that Harry Potter wasn't great...

Me: Whatever. What was the worst?

James: Oh, Wolverine. Definitely. Transformers was better.

Me: Favorite American Nobody Moment?

James: Probably the response to the Adam Lambert sketch. It was exhilarating to hear such a response to a piece I thought was funny but just wasn't sure about. Oh, and I love Sky's Man on the Street.

Me: What are your hopes for the show?

James: I hope that we're able to branch out and experiment with different content that people enjoy. I'm not a person who likes to alienate with his comedy. I want to draw people in. I like to laugh together. I hope the show continues like that.

Me: That's really beautiful, James. I love it when you talk feelings.

James: Alright.

Me: Okay, last question. What's one more thing you have to do before the summer is over?

James: This summer has been roadtripless and it needs to be rectified.

******************************

Thanks everyone for your comments on American Nobody.
Look out for a new episode,
and follow Jon on Twitter for absolute randomness.

2009-08-04T08:55:00.000-07:00

Song Giveaway!

2009-07-31T21:35:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard, Jon is giving away 200 hundred free songs as a thank you for all the support of the American Nobody show. You just need to go to the American Nobody website and sign up for the email list. It's a drawing, but your chances are good. So no worries.

In the spirit of good music, let me clue you in to a few things I've been into lately. I'll put up some download links later but in the meantime here's a few "videos" for the music. The Discovery tune is definitely not a video but you can listen to the tune at least without bringing up a music player.

Here's Benoit Pouilard's video for "Triggering Back." Not brand new but I just started listening to them.

Discovery's fake video of "So Insane". It's a dancier Postal Service that makes you want to Michael Jackson dance.

Here's Grizzly Bear doing their song, "Ready, Able" on Letterman.

Hope you like.

Take Me On

2009-07-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this?

Take Me On: Literal Video Version

Trust me, it's worth the 3 minutes of your life.

*********

Oh, and, while you're at it, take a look at this:

American Nobody with Jon Peter Lewis

American Nobody

2009-07-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

Go here:

American Nobody with Jon Peter Lewis

(did you know, in college, we used to all call him JPL,
and I wondered incessantly why he had
soooooooooooo many first names?)

It's Tuesday, and Valerie asks an Awkward Question

2009-07-28T09:34:00.001-07:00

What movie would you not make out during?

Jon: Borat. That would be a mistake.

James: The Godfather. Seems strange.

My vote is The Sound of Music. Same reasons as above.

***Check Jon's twitter feed for an exciting give away

A Bacon Post

2009-07-27T06:57:00.001-07:00

From Jon's twitter feed:

I've been thinking...about bacon. I think bacon is the candy of meat.

**picture via me, at Union Square, New York City

Jon Talks to MTV

2009-07-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

If you've never seen this interview with Jon on MTV, it's pretty fun.

Jon on MTV

A little something to lighten up your day. Enjoy your Friday.

Don't You Ever Wonder?

2009-07-23T19:12:00.000-07:00

About Jon?

Not even a little bit?

There he is, doing all these interviews, but what about him?
What is he like?
Who are his musical influences?
Where does he see himself in five, ten, fifteen years?

Who cares.
Those aren't the questions I asked him.

These are the questions:

What's been your favorite movie this summer?

hmmmmmmm. I'd have to say Star Trek.

Oh, good choice. Favorite popsicle?

(after taking a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time to respond) Otter Pop. Strawberry Short Kook.

Another good choice.

I also like Sir Isaac Lime.

What do you like least about summer?

That it's too short.

Yeah, me too. T-shirt with swimsuit? Yeah or Nay?

No...although I'm getting to a place in my life where a t-shirt seems a little more appropriate.

Favorite bbq food?

Steak.

Oh, classy. Outdoor movies: fun evening? or just an excuse to get irritated with strangers during North by Northwest?

Pee Wee's Big Adventure. That's all I think about at the drive-in. I'm a rebel, Dotty. A loner...
I like them, though.

It was at this point he started quoting Pee Wee's Big Adventure,
and the interview was pretty much over.

Tune in as I turn my keen interview skills on Sky and James,
so you know the whole American Nobody Team a little better
(Judy, then I'm coming for you).

when you get a sec

2009-07-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who viewed and commented on the
1st Episode of the 2nd Season of
American Nobody
(if you haven't, go here, right away).

For the rest of you, take a break from watching and re-watching Sky's
Dude on the Street interview,
and feast your eyes here:

Awkward Family Photos; it's a gem.
The pictures are amazing, and the captions, a comedic dream.

If you haven't seen it, do us both a favor and check it out.

Then go watch American Nobody again, and leave a comment.
And follow Jon's twitter feed, while you're at it.

Okay, that's it. No more bossing you around.

And send Valerie some presents, specifically, candy.

Pre-American Nobody

2009-07-22T04:35:00.000-07:00

Somewhere deep in the twisted mind that is Jon Peter Lewis was this American Nobody show. And this video may in a way have been a test run, Jon starting something he didn't even know would evolve. This was something he filmed almost a year ago after the release of his new album. Enjoy.

Just so you know, we'll be updating his blog more often, using it to put up videos, clips we don't use, maybe longer versions of the JV Debate Club and some outtakes from the show. Keep checking back.

And that picture is just hail clouds in Brooklyn. Nothing to do with this post.

It's Here, It's Here

2009-07-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

You guys, it's done.

The first episode of the 2nd Season of
American Nobody
is up and running.

Ch-ch-check it out.

Post a comment, tell use what you like, express your excitement,
your joy,
your disappointment
(though, hopefully, you won't be disappointed).

Oh, and if you're on Twitter, or ever thought of it, do it, and
follow Jon.
I can promise it'll be funny 42% of the time
(it'll probably be more than that,
but I'm not comfortable staking my good name on it).

American Nobody, Season 2, Episode 1.

Look to your Right. Your right.

2009-07-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hey gang.
Jon has a twitter feed.
Check it out, at right.

Be a pal and be a follower
(it's not as bad as it sounds).

All Things Will Come To Pass

2009-07-17T05:44:00.000-07:00

Here's the deal. We've been focused on the American Nobody show and kind of let this blog go but we want to start this baby up again. With a different focus. This blog will be a little more like a video blog. We'll still post up some randomness here and there but here's what you can expect:

-outtakes from the American Nobody show

-old videos of Jon we've dug up for amusement (and maybe humiliation?)

-some longer clips of interviews, things we cut for time's sake

-maybe some unique clips of Jon playing new songs

-maybe just some music videos of bands that Jon or Sky or Valerie or I like

CHECK BACK TOMORROW FOR NEW VIDEOS!

There's Something on the Horizon

2009-07-13T09:05:00.000-07:00

There's something on the horizon.
It's coming; getting closer all the time.
New episodes of American Nobody are on the way*.
Keep checking for a teaser in the next few days*.

*this is not supposed to rhyme. this is a statement, not some nerdy poem.

Oh, Blog You Neglected Fool.

2009-03-31T19:50:00.000-07:00

So Jon started an awesome show called American Nobody and now that I have joined him, this blog has been neglected. Like a dropped penny. Or one of the Boxcar Children. But Jon and I have teamed up yet again to for the purposes of writing and this show is getting some great attention. If you haven't checked out said show you can get to it here -- Americannobody.com

Jon is naturally very funny and laid back with his guests and the topics range from American Idol to music to general everyday sorts of things. I'm helping now with writing a feature called "Idol Hands" and with his "Idol Recap in Crappy Pictures". The first "Idol Hands" feature just got put up in episode 6 and we have more planned.

Huzzah, friends.

Group 2 Results

2009-02-27T01:32:00.001-08:00

Well that was a surprise. Kris? I suppose lots of girls saw in him what I saw in Megan. I was just shaking my head at the TV when I found out he was going through. But, hey, I understand. I don’t think he’s that bad to tell you the truth, but at with so many great singers in the running, I don’t think he has a chance.

Group Songs…. Please stop. Although, it is pretty funny to watch a group of people who aren’t dancers struggle on stage with basic stage movement. It’s not that funny when you’re up there doing it though. I felt totally out of my element every time we did a dance number. There’s something about even a basic step touch I always seem to mess up. I feel their pain. I never was cut out for choreography and neither are a lot of them apparently.

Any opinions about Brooke White’s song? I’m a bit biased because I know her and I’m probably bound to like it no matter what.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Short show…short blog.

Idol Group 1 Results

2009-02-19T04:07:00.001-08:00

What do you know, I got it right this time. I should have made a bet on it, just like I should have expected the token phrases from every Idol season: “Unprecedented numbers” and “best season ever.” My advice to current contestants would be to keep in mind that next year they’ll be saying that about someone else.

Speaking of which, two of the newest Idol has-beens, Michael Johns and Carly Smithson surprised me by an awkward appearance on the show. I’ve never seen idols come back and perform who weren’t in the top 4. Given the weirdness of their duet, they may not ever again. Man, isn’t there one of the former idols who can dance? Anyone? I can’t remember. Actually, now that I think about it, Nikko Smith from season 4 was good.

Certainly no one so far from this season is gonna be the next James Brown. Watching the song and dance numbers is almost as embarrassing as being a part of them. Certainly they can find a less demeaning time-killer for the contestants.

Anyway, the show was kind of a bummer with so little good news to go around. We had the same format for semi-finals my season but I can’t remember if we drew it out like this… I want to say we did. I remember sitting on the couch listening to people’s performances being evaluated and calculating whether or not I needed to brace myself for a rejection. I ended up 3rd that night, but they were only looking for two people. I went home for the next week and then got a call to come back for the wild card round.

I think Anoop and Tatiana will be back. Maybe Rickey Braddy.

See you all next time. Check out Americannobody.com over the weekend for a new episode of the American Nobody Show.

Idol Semi-Final Group 1

2009-02-18T03:18:00.001-08:00

Oh Tatiana Of the Bull you may think we can’t see through your attempt to show us you’re not a self-centered, attention-starved maniac, but just as sure as you’ve got flappy lunch-lady arms and a dusty yellow smile we all know enough to expect an outburst from you when it’s someone else sitting on the fuzzy blue safe couch and not you. And, while I seriously contemplate sending you some Crest White Strips, I have to wonder at an episode of Idol where you are a highlight.

I’m impressed. You’ve convinced me that crazy has merit. I think I’ve known that all along, but I’ve never actually seen it in action. I mean, it’s much easier for me to sit at home as a viewer and criticize everyone for their mistakes, but I know what it’s like to be standing there in your shoes. It’s really easy to lose your way with all the lights and general hubbub surrounding the show. Most normal people freak out, but not you. You and fame are like Smeagol and the Ring, except in this case it’s a brand new ultra shiny microphone. Please call it your precious! For me? Just once? Please?

Ok, enough of her. Among other people worth mentioning is Jackie Tohn who sang “little less conversation”. Not because I loved her performance—I mean I didn’t hate it like Simon, but singing that song was one of the highlights of my Idol Journey and watching her perform it tonight brought back a few memories. I don’t think she was terrible, but of course I’m partial to the way I did it. Plus, I’m glad it was her wearing the spandex and not me.

The easy Favorite for tonight was Danny Gokey. He’s gonna be in the competition for a long while. My prediction is him, Oil-field guy and pink hair single mom.

Idol Hollywood Final Day

2009-02-12T13:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when I saw a glimpse of the Judges mansion before the TiVo cut me short I thought for one awesome moment they decided to somehow spin off a version of the Real World or The Bachelor or The Hills, or some other ridiculous reality show involving a house, people and cameras. My imagination was running wild. I was trying not to think about what the nighttime infrared camera scenes would be like. Yikes. Instead it was more like the Judges playing the part of the kings and queens from the Chronicles of Narnia, presiding over a parade of people I’d never seen before.

Luckily there were plenty off bearded guys who could cover the part of Mr. Tumnus and a few girls that could pass for the ice queen.

Speaking of girls who are walking black holes of all things living, Tatiana managed to stick around another week. I can’ help but plead with the powers that be she doesn’t become the next Sanjayah. I can already see the fan girls and boys devoting themselves to her just because everyone else hates her. Although, I really am looking forward to the combination of her and live television. I mean, lets face it, she won’t win and I’m sure she’ll freak out when she gets the boot. I can’t wait.

I am starting to warm to a few other contestants. You know, I don’t really like things that are contrived and there have been a few obvious blind piano-playing troubadours before, but there’s something about Scott Macintyre that I really like. I’m not so sure about his music style, but I feel something good when I listen to him sing and I think that’s what it should be about. I think he’s gonna’ be a strong contender in this contest. Still I’m trying to get too involved yet.

I can’t really relate to this particular episode. I never had to go through it. But, they are back to the old way of choosing the finalists and first up are some fan favorites and standouts. Should be a good week. See you then.

Idol Hollywood Day 3

2009-02-11T14:42:00.000-08:00

Last night the first of two final Hollywood episodes took place with what I’d say were a lot more beautiful people than when I was on the show. We were like the starving kids from a Sally Struthers commercial in comparison. It’s almost as if they decided to spend more money on the audition episodes by bringing hair stylists and make-up artists for the auditioners--but that doesn’t sound like the Idol I know. However, American Idol is the Holy Savior incarnate for the Fox network and I guess like all aging Hollywood dynasties their motto is “when in doubt, throw money at it and see what happens.”

Anyway, I sped through the show thanks to Tivo and wished for most of the episode that there was a preset to skip any section that that girl, Tatiana, was a part of. Every time I see her I hide my face in embarrassment, but I do have to give her credit for something. I remember her name. Generally I don’t get too emotionally invested this early in the competition and names are a total waste of time to chase after, but I haven’t forgotten hers. So, bravo. I can’t say it’ll be a tactic that’ll work forever, but it’s kept the seconds ticking in her 15 minutes so far.

Some of my early favorites, who I think might have a shot at being around a while, however, are the piano bar guy, the church music teacher/best friend guy and the cute little emotional girl who forgot her lyrics. I don’t really care what she sings, I like her.

So, now this being the second year of permissible self-accompaniment we’re already starting to see some really dynamic musicians on the stage. It’ll be really interesting to watch what kind of affect that has on the credibility of idol artistry going forward. Still, not only is there the giant hurdle of jumping from cover songs to originals, but also there’s just so much show left. This is the political primary and does anyone remember how Rudy Giuliani and Hillary Clinton were supposed to be their party nominees? Yeah, we all totally called that one.

So, tomorrow night we find out who the top 36 are…yep, this year it’s 36. I’m waiting to hear the story on that and while I’m pondering that I’ll sit and wonder what in God’s green earth were they thinking when they made a “Judge’s Mansion”. I’m sure we’ll find out more tomorrow. See you then

It's All the Rage

2008-12-29T23:45:00.000-08:00

So, there's a new fad in our little blogging community, and it's all the rage. It's film stills. I put them up, you guess (through your comments, of course), and I post the key in a few days. Honor system here, people. Guess before you read the other comments. Here you go; guess away:

**If these are too easy for you, I might suggest either Darren's or Joe's posts, both of which are much trickier.

Two Front Teeth

2008-12-20T22:02:00.000-08:00

So, I'm waiting in the Boise airport for my 5:40 am flight, and thinking of all of you dear readers, getting desperate in your quest to find me the perfect gift. Well, here it is.

It's these earrings. Order them here.

I will also accept these in diamond form. And sapphire. Really, any gemstone will do.

For James, I would sign him up for Improv 301 (and myself, too) and Sketch 101.

For Jonny, I would get him a spot as the musical guest on SNL, because the show's looking up, it's got the best cast it's had in years, and love it or hate it, there's a cache to that invitation.

And I would get him a $25 gift certificate to Outback Steakhouse. It's a good place. I think I've even been there with Jon. Probably the one in Idaho Falls, the one that Darren and Andy used to work at.

The ol' Hoosgow

2008-12-12T11:03:00.000-08:00

So today, while James and I were standing in Dunkin' Donuts waiting to order me a hot chocolate to get me through the afternoon, he began wondering how many donuts he could eat. The answer turned out to be a lot.

I commented that I found that odd, considering we'd just finished (a not unsubstantial) lunch. He then said, "I think prison would be the best thing for me, where they give me just my portion, and no more."

To which I responded, "That's the best solution for portion control you can think of? Prison?"

James, his eyes glinting as they roamed over the boston creams, nodded.

2008-12-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

**Many thanks to Lizzy for bringing this jem to my attention.

Personal Spooks

2008-11-06T21:14:00.001-08:00

Ok, so I have a strange confession. I'm afraid of cows. Livestock, in general. But mostly, cows. I don't know how this originated. I lived in Eastern Utah for a while and I used to walk by these fields full of suspiciously docile cows. And everyday, they'd raise their big moo heads to look me over, and I had this feeling that if there weren't any witnesses, those little dairy darlings would trample my body and eat my inside parts.

Is my fear unreasonable? Sure. Unfounded? Probably. But I'm not alone in strange unexplainable fears. Valerie, who posts here often, is afraid of tsunamis. That's right. Freak waves.

I have another friend, Andy, who is afraid of real, live zombies. He doesn't believe they exist but he doesn't believe they won't not exist.

So what irrational thing are you afraid of? Jon, what spooks you, amigo? Taco Bell? Tricycles? Poly/Cotton blend?

2008-11-04T14:27:00.000-08:00

Did you?

2008-10-31T07:37:00.000-07:00

Ah, Cap't Ahab, of the mighty sailing ship, Pequod.

This is Jon at a party thrown by (his words) an industry muckety-muck.

James and I are planning on going out tonight as Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love. We're meeting up with friends who will be dressed as Bevis, Butthead, and Daria, respectively. We're doing a 90's throwback.

What are you going to be?

p.s. So, Jon could re-use that fancy pipe next year when he goes as Sherlock Holmes. Don't you think?

p.p.s. Moby Dick is, in part, based on a true account of a whale attacking and sinking a whaling ship, The Essex. Read all about it in In the Heart of the Sea.

For the Readers

2008-10-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

So, I googled "something awesome", so I could, you guessed it, have something awesome to write about, and I found a blog entitled Something Awesome. Subtitled: Our Good Taste Will Lead You to Try Something Awesome.

A couple of things come to mind:

a) Someone had the hubris to decide that they had the skills necessary to lead public opinion in the right direction

b) Doesn't everyone with a blog have that very same hubris?

In any case, the first post I saw was about 30 Rock, so I'm sold. The Something Awesome guys are legit in my book.

(see it here)

And then I clicked on images for something awesome, and I came up with this. It's titled "Urban Star Wars" (this is for you, James).

This is what I wanted to give you, readers...something awesome. I hope this fulfills the requirement.

But in case it doesn't another link, and one more image.

Oh, and wait, one more link. This is to Allen's blog. Trust me, it's worth the trip over.

Things Fall is Good For

2008-10-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

1. Eating apples (not these depressing ones from the grocery store, eating apples from farmer's markets, or from one of those farms where you pick your own fruit)

2. Buying sweaters from thrift stores (James just informed me that there's no use buying new sweaters, as they've been making the same three styles of sweaters since the beginning of time. I think he may have a point)

3. Learning to bake a pie

4. Using the word deciduous in conversation

5. Learning to spell the word deciduous (full disclosure: I looked it up)

6. Entering a chili cook-off

7. Starting a scrapbook of that stuff that piles up in your wallet (concert tickets, metro cards from D.C., movie tickets, etc)

8. Cooking something in a crock pot

9. Taking very long walks, and calling them constitutionals

10. Memorizing the Gettysburg Address

The College Years

2008-09-23T14:14:00.001-07:00

Adorable. That's what we are.

From left to right, me, Jon, Cherie, and Candice.

This is right after Jon's stint on American Idol (I think), and he stopped by Cedar Heights
(where we gals lived) to say hello (maybe to say other things, who remembers), and then a camera was produced (or maybe it was already set up in hopes of something exciting happening) and, ta da, Adorable.

This picture was taken after I met Jon when we both did Moliere's The Imaginary Invalid, this is after him hanging out on our couch playing Cherie's guitar, after Guys and Dolls, after the whole gang going to Dairy Queen after Comic Frenzy shows. This is in the middle of super good years.

Side note, in this picture, I am wearing what was my favorite shirt that year. It was just a t-shirt, but it was all soft and worn feeling, you know the type I'm talking about. Also, I don't know what was going on with my hair.

In other non-nostalgic Jon news, yesterday he was off to a very exotic locale...Bakersfield, CA. He was doing a spot on a radio program, and when asked, said he expected it to be about three thousand degrees in Bakersfield.

And I'm sure it was.

My new favorite toy

2008-09-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

I give you Han Solo. Also, I give you USB Flash Drive

Buffalo Wings in Buffalo

2008-09-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

Hey Val. So, I've got a couple of pictures for you. So, yeah, this is when I was on tour and stopped in Buffalo. I had wings at their birthplace in the Anchor Bar.

Less Famous Gun-Slingers

2008-09-15T05:10:00.000-07:00

*Billy the actual Kid
*Mildly Wild Hitchcock
*Two (sometimes three) Shot Tulusa
*Cross-Eyed Curly
*William "Always Brings a Knife to a Gunfight" Jones
*Little Orphan Annie Oakley
*Shooty McBullets
*Stacy "Ask Questions First" Austin
*Poor Peripheral Vision Potter
*Abraham Lincoln
*Mikey "The Monocle" McBride

Pete

2008-09-06T22:58:00.001-07:00

Pete is a bird, made by my good pal Rachel. He's a fun loving bird, likes to have a good time, get out and enjoy the city.

Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly lazy, just laying around the apartment, Pete's all, "let's get out of here, find something to do"

and then I'm all, "ugh, let's just watch tv"

and he's all, "you didn't move to new york to watch tv, come on, valerie, get up, let's go"

and I'm all, "ugh, ok"

and then we go out.

This (to the left) is how Pete likes to start his day, with the paper and an Orangina. He loves them. I tell them all the time that they're too expensive to have everyday, and he acts like he understands, but he just keeps buying them.

This (to the right) is Pete and I at the Brooklyn Farmer's market. We're trying to make a selection.

This (below) is Pete and me (and my pal Shiloh) waiting for the subway. We are on our way to Shakespeare in the Park. Shiloh and I are impatient for the subway to come, but Pete urged us to be patient.

This (to the right) is us picnicking before Shakespeare in the Park. We saw Hamlet, and Pete enjoyed it immensely. He didn't even seem to mind that it was almost three hours long.

Pete is a mover and a shaker, so you can probably expect to see more pictures of us gadding about.

By the by, you can purchase Pete's birdy pals here.

Buffalo Wings in Buffalo

2008-09-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

So, Buffalo wings originated in Buffalo, New York. For real. That's where they get the name. I know this from watching the Food Network, probably some show like Unwrapped, with Mark Summers (of Double Dare fame. I just keep waiting for that green slime to pour down on him).

In a recent (1/2 hour ago) conversation with Jon, he mentioned he was in Buffalo, opening for Eddie Money, and he knew buffalo wings were from Buffalo, as he had been to the very restaurant where wild wings were born. He said they were great, he ate a plateful.

But I have to ask: Is anyone else impressed with my random knowledge, or does everyone know the wild wings were born in upstate New York?

This happened

2008-09-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

So, much to my dismay, summer is wrapping up. You know it, I know it, it's coming to an end.

Because they close after Labor Day, last Friday I walked over to the community pool near my house to get one more use out of my new goggles.

It was around 11:00 am, well after the 9:00 open time, but it was all locked up, and employees were milling around inside the gates. I cornered a employee standing outside and asked what the deal was, and she proceeded to tell me, "We're closed because an employee was slain here last night. We'll be open for the second session".

Hmm.

2 things:

1. I've been to that pool a bunch of times, and not once felt that I was in any danger of slaying.

2. Slain? Was the guy killed in a fencing dual?

In any case, the question of whether I will return to the murder pool is a moot point, as it's closed until next summer.

I'm planning on hitting up Jones Beach in Long Island as part of my extended farewell to summer.

What are your end of summer/start of fall plans (please say school supply shopping).

p.s. This is not me, you can tell because my goggles are clear.

2008-08-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

I know we've been super-slackers on this blog, and I promise it's not forever. The Summer Olympics come but once every 4 years, and I'm a little distracted.

I have been thinking about what events I want to see when I go (which will happen) to the Olympics. Here are my top choices:

The end of the woman's marathon (when they come into the stadium)

A gymnastics event (men's and women's)

A table tennis final

A white water event

A swimming relay final

Synchronized swimming

Women's weightlifting

Fencing

What are your choices, if you had your pick of any events?